Sluiz Ibiza, its like Ikea on steroids with a hint of naughtiness
Whilst in Ibiza friends of ours recently said we must take you to see the blue cows at Sluiz Ibiza, its like Ikea on steroids with a hint of naughtiness they said. So confused, bemused and curious we headed off to Sluiz.
When arriving at Sluiz Ibiza, just outside Santa Gertrudis, the first thing that strikes you as you pull in, is the herd of blue cows in a field. Once out of your car you can wander amongst them, take pictures and marvel at their strange yet appealing sight.
However, this wasn’t the only sign outside that Sluiz was a shop like no other. The car park has parking signs to help you position your vehicle, with useful parking sections such as Big Boobs, ADHD, Golddigger and Dr Dre to name but a few.
After parking in our chosen section (if you know you know) we entered Sluiz to be met by the most amazing collection of beautiful, curious, wonderful, strange and bizarre items you have never seen, and never knew you needed until you saw them.
Sluiz say they aim to bring you beautiful and exciting products that make your lifestyle more colourful. It’s a magical place, an adventure, an experience and an inspiration. And we couldn’t agree more.
Sluiz was born when a crazy dutch couple (their words not ours) back in 2006 decided to start a tiny, intimate shop selling only products that they personally liked from condoms, shoes, chairs, bicycles and more. The concept took off and it quickly became one of the biggest and most beloved stores in Europe.
Due to this success, a second store opened in Santa Gertrudis (where we were). With 6000 sq meters dedicated to providing the visitor with an adventurous shopping experience, they have ensured that every meter delights, astounds and immerses you into the Sluiz experience.
Sluiz really has to be seen to be believed. Within seconds of stepping inside we were whisked away on our individual journeys, past exquisite outfits, chairs, colourful ceramic lifesize pugs, through the lighting section including spiderman crouching with a lightbulb on his head, past full size ceramic horses and giant pugs, into the ceramic section and soft furnishing.
The colours and vibrancy of not only the clothing, but the soft furnishings and ceramics as well work together to give you a sensory overload walking past items thinking that you NEED, when in all honesty you never even knew that a lightbulb in an upturned glass jar existed 30 seconds previously.
Walking past metal body parts such as hollow feet and monkey face serving trays, their wine selection is very tempting and the clothes we saw tailored and exquisite.
In need of a rest we made our way to the cafe/restaurant/bar and after taking recommendations from Ibizan friends who when discovering we were going all told us to have the Club Sandwich, that’s what we chose.
Perfection can never be delivered in an instant, so whilst we waited we looked around at the café and realised that literally every section was crammed, from the creepy (or pretty you decide) china dolls, the oil painting sections, the massive doll feet sticking through the ceiling, the teacups and even down to the chairs, Sluiz has ensured that the craziness of the Dutch owners permeates through the whole store.
The club sandwich arrived and would have been enough to feed two people let alone one! But as it melted in our mouths, we sat drinking in the whole environment, watching the rain in the garden.
The crazy naughty side of that great dutch couple is scattered throughout sluiz from the condoms (yes they still do them) from slightly altered well known brands as Adildo, Tommy Middlefinger, Dolce&Banana and Suckers through to changing rooms entitled Sperm Bank or Bleached Anus, Sluiz will have you sniggering quietly like naughty schoolchildren writing rude words on a school desk.
And I haven’t even mentioned the strangely disturbing birdcage and toy doll artwork and wooden phallic body. Let alone the fully reclined dentist chairs in both the ladies and gents toilet. Or even the wall of toilets.
I bet there are a thousand more oddities in there that we missed. Literally, every square inch of Sluiz is put to work to provide you with the shopping adventure that was their vision and they’ve thought of everything.
To combat the usual – ah but I can’t get it in my suitcase excuse Sluiz have thought of everything and you can shop to your heart’s content and wonderfully once purchased they will package it up into a crate and ship worldwide (https://www.sluiz.com/shopandship/).
So there’s really no excuses to why you aren’t walking out of there the proud owner of a 4 ft metal fish, lifesize ceramic pug or simply a stapler in a jar.
Sluiz also organises different events throughout the year like Wine festivals, The Food Factory, Vinyl record Fair and courses like photographing, drumming and dancing. During winter there’s live music every Sunday.
They believe that their experience and continuous playing with creativity has resulted in them creating more and more of the fashion and decorations they sell themselves, and in their fully equipped workshop they can design and make anything that pops up in their mind.
Their home label SLUIZ IBIZA is now available in stores around the world and 99% of their products are made here in Ibiza!
But nothing will recreate that childlike wonder and childish giggles than walking through the open doors of Sluiz Ibiza, its like Ikea on steroids with a hint of naughtiness.